Unknown

One of the scariest words I know,  UNKNOWN.  It emits feelings of anxiety, fear, and nausea.  It means that I have no control.  No control over where I am going or what will happen when we get there.

I was lamenting to a close friend the other day and a name popped into my head, Abraham.

Abraham was sent to an unknown land.  God just told him to pack up and go, then he went.  I really wish he had written down his version of the story.  I mean, he had to have had some conversations with God about this.  “Really God, pack up everything?  I know you promised me my own nation, but you told me pack up and start walking to an unknown place.  Are you sure?”

Whether or not Abraham had this conversation or not isn’t really the point, I suppose. The point is that he obeyed.  He may have had anxiety, fear, and nausea but he went anyway.

At this point, we are waiting for more details to fall into place;  confirmation on housing, moving date, and schooling.  Details that fall into the category of “unknown”.

Much of our lives are unknown.  What IS known?

Psalm 46:10 says “Be still, and know that I am God.”

  1. Be STILL, be calm.  Don’t stress.  Don’t worry.
  2. KNOW that I am God.  KNOW with all of your heart and mind.

I think the little word in the middle is the most important:  AND.

“Be still AND know”  You can’t fully be still without the knowledge that God is God.  I can tell myself to calm down, but without the full knowledge that God is in control, my calm is not going to last very long.

On the radio the other day, I heard a great message,

“God’s way becomes plain when we start walking in it.”

So, onward I shall walk, into the unknown.

34 days

~Leah

 

Comfortable

I have willingly stepped out of my comfort zone.  The summer after my sophomore year in college, I flew to Miami with my buddy Katie, to embark on a summer of service.  We left our little college town and discovered the remarkable people of the inner city.  We were thrust into the lives of the homeless, people living in an AIDS Hospice, and children whose lives were torn apart by violence, drugs, and abuse.  Our world was shaken and the beautiful people we encountered in Miami will forever remain a part of our core.  That summer opened our eyes to a world so different from our own.  I remain incredibly thankful for that opportunity.

Then we returned home.  We slowly re-entered our comfortable world.  Our world of all things familiar and safe.  Katie and I chat from time to time, reflecting on that summer.  We are now both raising small tribes of our own.

18 years later, this comfort zone is about to be stepped out of again.  This time, not for a summer, not for a couple of months.  The first time, stepping out was easier, as we knew it was only temporary, we would be returning home as soon as our plane landed. This time, the move to the big city will be a more permanent one.  Our little tribe will be moving from the safety of a rural area to the great unknown of the deep deep south.  We are heading out of the familiarity of our home state to a strange land of swamps and gators.

This roller coaster life has taught me one thing, God’s got this.  Part of me wants to kick and scream to stay at home, close to my family.  Leaving my church home will be horrible, as I have known these friends for sixteen years.  They have walked with me through marriage and the birth of my four babies.  I could so easily be overcome with anxiety and worry.  It’s there, pressing in, waiting for me to open up to it.  I just keep pushing it away.  I have to trust God like I never have before.  If not for me, for my children.  They need to see my faith. They need to look forward to whatever God brings into their lives.

Although I will be leaving pieces of my heart behind, God’s blessings will abound in the bayou.

35 days

~Leah

Callin’ Baton Rouge

Writing is my therapy.  It is my way of processing this world.

As soon as it was confirmed that we were moving, I immediately felt the need to write, to process.  This isn’t just a move a few miles away, more like 922 miles.

922 miles away from family

922 miles away from friends

922 miles away from familiar

The extroverted side of me is looking forward to this new adventure.  Meeting new people and experiencing a new world is invigorating.

The introverted side of me just wants to stay in my comfortable little world.  I don’t want to be stretched. I don’t want to start over.

But, that’s not what God wants.

He is clearly paving this path.  He clearly has something new for us to see and experience. Staying will keep us from fully living this life He has for us.

Bring it.  I’m ready.

36 days

~Leah